Birds of a Feather
by chica blanca
Summary: pure crack...was supposed to be...well, not crack, but...heck i donnno what happened...


Prompt line: 'A deep dark shadowy figure called friendlily from the corner with a menacing tone

Prompt line: 'A deep dark shadowy figure called friendlily from the corner with a menacing tone.' Came from Pyscho-neurotically disturbed 's new piece…drumroll please…The Omen: an ominous love story…go check it out!

AN: okay so…this story kinda ran away from me. Was supposed to be about Ichigo's hollow and it was gonna be all intense-ish…and then…well you'll see.

(Shakes head and vows to strangle her muse)

Birds of a feather…

Laughter echoed through his head and Ichigo restrained the urge to slam his head against the wall. Which would have been detrimental as he was in the middle of a rather nasty battle…one where he was currently on the losing end.

'Yer losin' _again_ King. Tsk, can't you do anything right?'

Ichigo growled but focused on the dangerous looking claw that was headed for his midsection.

"Will you _shut the HELL up?!" _ He finally exploded, causing the arrancar fighting him to pause and look at him as if he'd lost his mind. Ichigo wasn't sure he hadn't.

Stopping mid-lunge the arrancar, a funny looking, short man with surprisingly deadly claws and rather stupid expression on his face, (which was why Ichigo underestimated him in the first place) scratched his head, gently, with a clawed finger and whined. "But I didn't say nothing…"

Eyes narrowed, Ichigo sent a glare in the short arrancar's direction. "I wasn't talking to you!"

The arrancar blinked; then looked around at the barren landscape. Catching sight of a bird flying about a hundred yards away he shot Ichigo a dirty look. "Ya shouldn't yell at birds…that's not nice."

It was Ichigo's turn to blink. "Wha-?"

"I mean, what did that bird ever do to you?" He waved his clawed hands in the air to stress his point. "And he wasn't even being _that _loud. Just flyin' and mindin' his own business…" he shook his head and peered off into the distance a mournful expression crossing his face. "Poor, 'ittle birdy…didn't do nothing wrong…"

'Eh, King?'

"Huh?'

'_Please_ let me kill him…and I never say please, but if I have to listen to that dipshit talk any longer…I'm gonna stab us with Zangetsu.'

'How are you going to manage to stab us with Zangetsu if I wont let you have control of the body?' Ichigo reasoned as he listened to the arrancar compose a poem to the, now long gone, bird.

'oh, I'll find a way…'sides, ya know ya want to…let me kill him…then I can feed him to his precious bird…'

Ichigo entertained that thought for a moment. He had to admit it was appealing.

'See I was right…ya do have a bit of darkness in ya. Come to the dark side, King. We have cookies.'

'Chocolate chip cookies?' Ichigo asked as he donned the hollow's mask and felt his hollow merge with himself.

A laugh, this time coming from his own mouth, alerted the arrancar that the battle was still going on. As a cero left Ichigo's fingertips, his hollow replied.

"Of course we have chocolate chip cookies…what kind of dark organization would we be without them?" This caused further confusion to the arrancar, who was now minus one arm.

'But who's gonna bake these cookies? Cause, Shiro, I don't think I wanna eat anything _you_ make.' Ichigo watched with mild interest as Shiro (using his body) pulled the arrancar's leg off and tossed it behind him like a piece of firewood. 'Do you have to make such a mess?'

"Yes, gotta get the pieces small enough so the bird won't choke. I may be evil…but I'm not about to commit avieryicde. And a' course I ain't making the cookies…do ya really think I'd wear an apron?"

The arrancar blinked fearful eyes at the statement and tried to get a handle on just where the battle started going south.

Ichigo waited a few beats before insisting. 'You didn't answer my question…I'm starting to doubt these cookies exist…'

"KING! Yer startin' to annoy the hell outta me…I'm trying to kill this guy over here and you won't shut up about the DAMN cookies! I told ya there'd be cookies…and so there'll be cookies…now shut up so I can enjoy this!"

Ichigo pouted. 'Fine then…but I as sure as hell ain't baking any cookies so if this was all a ploy to get me to make you cookies then…' he blinked a few times. 'Damn, now I really want cookies…You suck, Shiro!'

As Zangetsu relieved the arrancar of his head, his hollow laughed. "Just get the old man to make 'em…I gotta go find that bird and give him his dinner!"


End file.
